Starting primary school is a huge milestone for any child - and for parents too! After the familiarity of nursery, playgroup or preschool, your child is suddenly preparing for a completely new environment, new routines, new adults and lots of new faces.
For some children, the transition to school feels exciting and natural. For others, it can feel overwhelming. And while neurodivergent children may experience change, sensory input and unfamiliar routines differently, it is important to remember that starting school can be a big adjustment for every child. Even children who are typically developing and usually cope well with change can become tired, emotional or unsettled when their familiar routine suddenly changes.
The good news is that there are lots of things parents and caregivers can do before September to make the transition to primary school feel more predictable, manageable and positive.
Start Preparing For School Before The First Day
One of the best ways to make starting school easier is to gradually introduce some of the things your child will experience once school begins.
Rather than waiting until the first day to explain what will happen, start talking about school naturally during the weeks beforehand. Keep conversations positive and simple, and give your child plenty of opportunities to ask questions.
You might talk about what time they will wake up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, putting on their school uniform, leaving the house, walking to school and saying goodbye at the school gates.
You can even practise some of these routines together. Try getting everyone dressed a little earlier one morning and leaving the house at the time you will eventually need to leave for school. Walk the route to school together and talk about what you can see along the way.
If you're driving, practise getting into the car, travelling to school and getting out with their bag. These practice runs can be particularly helpful for children who find changes to routine difficult because the journey itself becomes familiar before the pressure of the first day arrives.
Starting School Practise The School Run
The walk or journey to school can become an important part of your child's daily routine.
If possible, walk the route several times before school starts. Point out landmarks, crossings, shops or other familiar places along the way. You could even make it into a little game by spotting the same things each time.
For children who benefit from visual information, taking photographs of important points along the route can be helpful. You could create a simple visual sequence showing:
Get dressed → Eat breakfast → Put on shoes → Pick up school bag → Walk to school → Enter classroom → Say goodbye.
Having a clear sequence can help children understand what is coming next. It also gives you something concrete to refer back to if your child starts feeling worried: "Remember, first we walk to school, then we go into your classroom, and then I'll say goodbye."
Talk About What The School Day Might Look Like
For a young child, "going to school" can be a surprisingly abstract idea.
They may not understand what you mean when you say they'll be there all day. They might wonder where they will eat, when they will play, where they will go to the toilet or when you will come back.
Talking through the school day can make the unknown feel much more manageable. Explain things in language your child understands. You could say:
"You'll go into your classroom in the morning. Your teacher will be there. You'll do some activities, have a break, have your lunch, do some more activities and then I'll come back to collect you."
Don't feel that you need to explain every single detail. The aim is to create a general understanding of what will happen rather than making promises about a schedule that may change.
This is especially important for children who become anxious when things don't happen exactly as expected.
Practise Taking A Packed Lunch
If your child will be taking a packed lunch to school, why not have a few practice lunches at home?
Pack their lunch in the same lunchbox they will use at school and let them practise opening the containers, bottles and packets independently. This can reveal surprisingly tricky things before the first day! Can they open their water bottle? Can they undo the lunchbox? Can they recognise which food belongs to them?
For children with additional needs, practising these small practical skills can build confidence and reduce the number of unfamiliar tasks they need to navigate on their first day.
It can also be helpful to include some familiar foods that your child enjoys while they get used to eating in a new environment.
Starting SchoolRemember That Change Can Be Overwhelming For Any Child
It's easy to assume that because a child is neurotypical, they will simply adapt to starting school. But starting school is a major change in routine, and even children who usually cope well with change can experience big emotions.
Your child may suddenly be waking earlier, spending several hours away from you, navigating new social situations, listening to instructions, learning new rules and managing a busy classroom. That's a lot for a little person.
They may come home tired, tearful, clingy or irritable. They may suddenly have more tantrums or become upset about things that wouldn't normally bother them. This doesn't necessarily mean that school isn't going well. Sometimes it simply means they have spent the whole day holding themselves together and need somewhere safe to release all those emotions.
Starting School As A Neurodivergent Child
For autistic children, children with ADHD and other neurodivergent children, the transition can involve additional challenges.
A new classroom may contain unfamiliar sounds, smells, textures, lighting and movement. There may be lots of children talking at once, chairs scraping across the floor, bells ringing and adults giving instructions.
There are also social expectations to navigate, alongside changes in routine and the need to move between different activities throughout the day. Some children may find this exciting, while others may find it exhausting.
It is important to remember that every neurodivergent child is different. Not every autistic child will struggle with the same things, and not every child with ADHD will need the same support. The most useful approach is to think about your individual child's sensory profile, communication style and needs.
Communication FanCommunication Fans Can Help Children Understand What's Coming Next
For children who benefit from visual communication, a communication fan can be a useful resource to have available at school.
A fan can feature simple visual prompts such as "first", "then", "finished", "break", "toilet", "help" or other phrases and symbols relevant to the child.
Visual prompts can be particularly useful when a child is finding it difficult to process spoken instructions. Rather than relying entirely on verbal communication, they provide an additional way for children to understand what is happening.
A communication fan can also support transitions between activities, helping children understand what is happening now and what is coming next.
If your child already uses visual communication at home, speaking to their school about how these strategies can be continued in the classroom may help create consistency between home and school.
Fidget Toys For Busy Hands
For some children, having something small to manipulate can help them concentrate and regulate their sensory needs.
A discreet fidget toy may provide useful tactile input during listening activities, story time or periods where children are expected to sit still. However, fidgeting doesn't automatically mean a child isn't listening. For some children, movement and tactile input can actually help them focus.
It's worth discussing your child's individual needs with their teacher so that any sensory tool is introduced in a way that supports learning rather than becoming a distraction.
Fidget ToysBouncyBand Wiggle Seat Cushions
Some children find sitting still for long periods particularly difficult.
A BouncyBand wiggle seat cushion can provide subtle movement while a child remains seated, giving them an opportunity to move without needing to leave their chair.
For children who seek movement input, this type of discreet sensory support may make classroom sitting more manageable.
Again, every child is different, so it's worth discussing sensory seating options with your child's school and finding out what they are comfortable using in the classroom.
Bouncyband Little Wiggle SeatDiscreet Chew Aids For School
Some children seek oral sensory input throughout the day. They may chew pencils, sleeves, collars or other objects when they are concentrating, anxious or overwhelmed.
A discreet chew aid designed for sensory use can provide a safer and more appropriate alternative for children who benefit from chewing.
If your child uses a chew aid, make sure the school is aware of it and understands how and when your child uses it. Choosing a discreet option can allow children to access the sensory input they need without drawing unnecessary attention to them.
Chewbuddy Stickman Chew with Lanyard
Don't Forget The Sensory Load Of The School Environment
Sometimes parents focus on the obvious parts of starting school - the uniform, lunchbox, shoes and school bag - while forgetting just how much sensory information a child will encounter during the day.
The classroom might be bright and noisy. The playground might be busy. The dining hall may smell completely different from home.
Even seemingly small things, such as wearing a new uniform, sitting on a different chair or using unfamiliar toilets, can contribute to sensory overload.
If your child is sensitive to particular textures, try introducing their school uniform gradually before September. Let them wear the clothes around the house for short periods so that the fabric and fit become familiar. The same principle can apply to school shoes, coats and backpacks.
What Happens When Your Child Comes Home?
This is one of the most important things to prepare for.
Your child may walk through the front door and immediately have a huge emotional reaction. They might cry, shout, refuse to speak, become incredibly energetic or simply collapse on the sofa. They may be desperate for food. They may want to be left completely alone. They may become unusually clingy. They may seem completely fine and then have a meltdown half an hour later.
All of these responses can happen because school is exhausting. Your child has spent hours processing information, following instructions, managing social interactions and coping with sensory input. When they finally get home to their safe space, they may no longer have the energy to regulate their emotions.
Give Them Time To Decompress
Try not to make the first few minutes after school another demanding part of the day. Your child may not want to answer questions about school immediately. Instead of asking, "How was school?" the moment they walk through the door, consider offering a snack and some quiet time first.
Some children will benefit from movement. Others may want to curl up somewhere quiet. Some may need sensory play, music, a bath or access to their favourite comfort item. Follow their lead. A calm after-school routine might look very different from one child to another, but the important thing is creating a predictable transition between school and home.
WarmiesBuild An After-School Sensory Routine
For a child who has experienced a busy sensory day, familiar sensory activities can provide an important opportunity to regulate.
This could be time in a quiet den, playing with a favourite fidget, using a sensory tray, jumping on a trampoline, enjoying water play, listening to music, colouring or simply lying somewhere comfortable.
For some children, physical movement is the best way to release tension after sitting and concentrating all day. ,For others, reducing sensory input is more helpful.
There is no single "right" after-school activity. Watch your child and look for the things that genuinely help them feel calmer.
Keep Afternoons Simple At First
When your child starts school, it can be tempting to fill the afternoons with activities and clubs. But remember that your child may already have had a very busy day.
During the first few weeks, keeping afternoons relatively simple can give them the opportunity to recover and adjust. As they become more comfortable with their new routine, you can gradually introduce additional activities if they enjoy them.
Prepare Yourself For A Period Of Adjustment
Starting school isn't something that happens in one day. Your child may need weeks or even months to fully settle into their new routine. There may be fantastic days followed by difficult ones. They may love school one morning and refuse to go the next. This is particularly common during periods of tiredness, illness, disrupted sleep or other changes.
Try to look at the bigger picture rather than judging how well your child is settling based on one difficult morning. Keep communication open with their teacher and don't be afraid to share what works at home. You know your child better than anyone, and the information you provide can help school staff understand how best to support them.
Finnley Fish Recliner Bean Bag
Starting School Is A Big Adventure
Whether your child is neurotypical, autistic, has ADHD or has other additional needs, starting primary school is a huge milestone.
There will be excitement, nerves, tiredness, new friendships, new experiences and plenty of learning along the way.
Preparing your child gradually, practising everyday routines and making the unfamiliar more predictable can help reduce some of the uncertainty.
For neurodivergent children, thoughtful sensory and communication support can make the transition even more accessible. Resources such as communication fans, fidget toys, sensory seating and discreet chew aids can give children tools to help them regulate and communicate their needs throughout the school day. And when they come home, remember that they may need just as much support with their transition from school back to home as they did with starting school in the first place.
A quiet cuddle, a favourite snack, some sensory play or simply a little space to decompress may be exactly what they need.
At Learning SPACE, we believe that every child deserves the opportunity to feel comfortable, understood and supported as they learn and grow. Starting school is just the beginning - and with the right preparation, it can be the beginning of a wonderful new chapter.
